Realize Your Dreams In 2007
• Realize that most people don’t stay up late thinking of how to annoy you. They don’t think about how what they’re doing will affect them or you. If you neutrally point out the consequences of their behavior, they’ll start to think when they’re around you.
• Even if you believe people at work are up to no good, speak to them as if they were good people. For instance, saying to a backstabbing co-worker, “I know you’re a straight shooter who’d come to me if you needed something from me” could work wonders. People are reluctant to disappoint people who admire them.
• During the next year, when you’re upset about work, stop and ask yourself what you want before you take action. Then consider what you’re about to do and whether it will get you the results you need.
• Understand that everybody gets their feelings hurt, gets mad and gets frightened by stuff that happens at work — not just the “wimpy” people. Denying your feelings just makes it more likely that you’ll make bad decisions.
• If you’re really upset at work, take a time out and vent before trying to be effective. You can write nasty letters, talk to someone outside of your workplace or pound on pillows when you go home. Don’t worry about being nice or rational when you vent. Remember, even fierce storms dissipate when the winds die down. You can trust yourself to be reasonable on the other end of your “storm.”
• If you know you’re about to do something you’ll regret, exit stage right for a bathroom break. I’ve had clients avoid crying, blowing up at their bosses or inventing “brilliant” strategies when they use this excuse to pause before acting. No one has to know you’re using the bathroom as your interpersonal strategy room.
• Before you start the New Year, ask yourself what you would have done this year if you weren’t afraid and had a magic wand. Then take one action every week that moves you in that direction.
Source: Seattle Times
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