Malaysia Uncut

A Repository of Malaysian Stuff and More

UMNO Members Ultimate Wish

Chindian Girl

Well, the title should actually read UMNO Hates Chindians, but if I would have put that title chances are I would be ‘keris’ed to death by now by an angry crowd that marched from PWTC to Kelana Jaya just to clobber me to a pulp.Then they would insist that my imminent death was a result of the proper intepretation of the National Constipation , or more commonly called the Perlembagaan (interesting to note ‘lembaga’ in Malay can mean shadowy figure, so another way to look at Perlembagaan is something that was written by shadowy figures :P)

That and the fact that some monkey somewhere will demand that the word Chindian be defined constitutionally or I be thrown into Simpang Renggam for using an unauthorized and dangerous word to the harmony and stability of this country.He will probably say this in the same line as calling me a ‘cina buta’ from Tanjung Keling, but hey, I am a minority so I guess I deserve it la :P

The way I see it, its quite simplistic.UMNO hates and loves their allies at the same time.On one side, they need the economic powerhouse unit, generally known as ‘the Chinese’ to propel many aspects of the economy, they want the Chinese and Indians and ‘lain-lain’ to drink their livers to cirhossis and smoke their lungs to cancer, they want the Chinese and Indians to gamble their livelihoods away to gain more and more tax, BUT they hate the fact that we are doing it here at the same time.

In an ideal world, they would rather have all of us rallied into this island,with a huge casino and thousands of pubs and competitively priced cigarettes so that we can drink and drink and smoke and smoke and breed a limited amount of  children and continue the cycle.Then they would form a department similar to Jabatan Hal Ehwal Orang Asli called ‘The Foreign Locals Department’ and place us all under virtual house arrest(sounds like a movie I once saw)

That way they can still tax us without even looking at our pathetic selves or listening to our unbearable grouses like please stop beating our children to death in prisons, please stop throwing stones into our places of worship and tearing them down, please stop asking us not to bring our own food to school and please stop threatening to use traditional weapons on us.Oh and please stop asking us to go home to our home countries while telling us we are the same big happy Semua Boleh family.Its very confusing.

While you are there, please stop telling us the economy is peachy even though every analyst is saying otherwise.Please stop raising oil prices to buy some buses and tarring some roads.Please stop convincing us that IT is hugely in demand when half of the IT graduates today work as either gym promoters, credit cards salespeople or most importantly overpaid, overtrained and overglamourized phone operators guised as Global International Ultra VIP User Support Executive.And tell us that India ain’t good enough to do it- Malaysia is the choice destination and we reign supreme, truly Asia bla bla bla bla bla.Just because they talk with a slang thicker than the smog coming out of the Kalimantan hazy fires.

Coz when you boil it down,it doesn’t really matter if you clean a village toilet or the toilet in the White House, you’re still a toilet cleaner.Stop telling us what we want to hear and start telling us what we should hear.Stop telling us Malaysians are getting richer when all you’ve done is lower the economic bar.Stop telling us that we have a higer purchasing power matched by a stronger inflation rate.Stop selling us a 0.05 % higher dividend or interest payout with deposits while tripling your loan interest rate.Stop telling us you merged two banks and lowered the NPL rate by 10% and increased your NAV by 20% but making 35,000 people jobless in the process.Really, how long do you think you can keep the truth from us, I mean they’ve even got a site for prepaid rates now (So we have another source apart from Datuk Seri Lim Keng Yaik- and a less salivated one)

Of course they are the good UMNO members la, and I know quite a few.Not all hope to maroon me on an island, or beat me to avenge the Palestinians and Lebanese, or fire me because I stole my current job from a hardworking public university students whose English vocabulary is limited to ‘leaded or unleaded (petrol) or ‘Coffee or Tea’ , ‘miracolously’ obtaining an A in English , demands a salary of 10k plus a company jet, but obviously deserves my job more coz I’m a local foreigner…. but I am sure many would like to LOL.Maroon me on an island that is :P

So maybe I’ll volunteer by moving to Penang la (already getting hentam for their many NGOs and association with the Konrad Adaneur Foundation). Oh and by the way I am also a supporter of the Global Ethics project and a member of the UPP (also affliated to the KAF).So bite me.Lidah dalam pipi :)

Source: My Daily Bread

Sunday, November 19, 2006 - Posted by | Commentary, Trivia

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